How To Raise Strong And Confident Young Women. Great Gifts For Teen Girls.

Gave my older daughter, now 13, a nerf-type football for Christmas when she was 10. I didn't know if she would like it but she did like ball-throwing games. The squeal of excitment was a nice present for me. It took a couple of days of practice, but both girls can throw a spiral across the room.

Girls who can't throw are always somewhat despised by teen boys, so that is one hurdle towards respect they won't have any trouble with. Guys have some odd ways of rating females they are interested in. Looks, of course, is the first and biggest for a teen guy, and even a lot of us older men. But what else catches the eye?

Both girls have fishing poles too, more Christmas gifts. A few summers ago I took a small gang of girls fishing and they were putting on their own worms, and caught some bluegills too. We have been fishing quite a few times since then, and they have a keen competition going, to see which one will catch the first fish, the most fish, the biggest. We take them home, and they even help (sometimes) to clean the fish. Then we eat them.

Girls who fish and can throw a football. Answer to many a young man's dreams.

Next up  of course was shooting. My M1911 (Colt .45) with one round in the chamber and none in the magazine. I reloaded after each shot. They did okay, and no complaints about recoil. Time for a youth .22 rifle? To ask the question is to answer.

Both girls have been shooting now with me many times. They strongly prefer handguns over long guns. They alternate between the .22 and the .45. Both are easy to shoot, and shoot accurately. One daughter in particular likes to destroy her old barbie dolls, says they are so ugly she can't stand them, and can't understand why she ever liked them. (I think it's a little weird...I usually shoot old pop cans.)

That is a respect builder of a whole different sort! Personally, I prefer women strong enough inside to be a bit dangerous if they need be. Keeps me on the straight and narrow, anyway. I want my daughters to attract the kind of men who are confident enough in themselves not to be intimidated by a strong woman. But very few women are physically strong enough to defend themselves against a male thug. Thus, the gun training. Any boy-friend will know from the get-go that he has to win her, not 'take' her.

Today was something else. We got the fireplace ready for winter last week, and I hauled home a load of logs. Over the course of the week I gradually split them into chunks sized for our little fireplace. For some reason the girls always come out and watch me cut the wood with my axe. It seems to fascinate them. I offered a few times to teach them how to use the axe, but they declined. Today, they asked me!

I taught them how to hold the axe properly, how to place their feet in a firm stance, how to use the weight of the axe to do the work, and not the strength of their arms. A skinny thirteen-year-old doesn't have much arm strength. A few false starts, and pow! The first slab of dry oak split. They were hooked. I had to enforce a strict rotation or they would have been fighting over the axe. So I stood and kibitzed while they finished splitting the wood. A slow process, and I watched every move to make sure they didn't start to develop dangerous habits. I finally had to call a halt when they began to get tired. Tired people make mistakes.

I show them I trust them. I hope they understand that that means they can trust me. I let them have small sips of wine or beer. Their friends are envious. When they start going to parties, they won't feel that devilish fear/temptation. They already know what it tastes like. No forbidden thrill.

My thirteen-year-old has had a few driving lessons. Five miles per hour, around and around the lot. A little in reverse, not much yet. Again, I trust her not to take her knowledge and abuse it. When she hits sixteen and gets her license, again, it'll be old hat. No thrill. No need to show off. I wonder what her friend's parents think of my parenting style.

My goal is to build strong and independent young women. They are smart enough and cute enough that virtually anything they want to do or have could be in their grasp. If they are strong enough to reach out for it.